So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize