How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
