I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I enjoy the company of your penis
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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