is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
