like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
