I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
