I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
