after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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