She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
