i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
