my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize