chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
