She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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