I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
