grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
