either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
