hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The uberlube is also flammable
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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