remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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