Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
