No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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