and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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