I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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