wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
