That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
