So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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