HIV tests are more positive than that guy
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
