I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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