forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
