I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
