who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
