don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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