im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
