1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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