I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
