why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We're not piercing ourselves today.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
