1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
