Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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