..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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