wanna go halves on a baby?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
