I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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