if you like me you must not know who I am
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Randomize
