therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
