fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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