She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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