I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
