So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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