Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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