So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
