Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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