Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
