i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i drank out of a bidet.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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