dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
