dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize