I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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