just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
