we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
