good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
