we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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