I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
