Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
