love makes seman taste better
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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